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For Convenience Sake ..
Eversince 9/11 the U.S.A has created the Department of Homeland Security. They have tightened up their immigration laws and entry into the States is more rigid then ever whip whip whip (except for when the U.S. decides to declare war on a country leaving it famished and polluted with death, despair and hopelessness, so they can allow its' inhabitants to immigrate to the U.S. under Refugee Status!). ANYWAY ........
As I am CANADIAN and only here in the U.S. under the "Trade Nafta Agreement", which will no longer be honored as of July 04, 2004 (oops), meaning, when I go to renew my TN Work Visa this Jan. 04 2005, I will have to submit official papers proving that I can SPEAKA DI INGLEESH, and that the education I had obtained in my Country of Origin is UP To PAR with their's!
HA HA HA HA HA. Whatever folks! The U.S. ranks low in terms of Educational Standards, so what in the world are they talking about? These Egotistical B's. ANYWAY ........
C and I were walking in Hermann Park this evening taking night-time pics with my new cam. We were discussing this very topic when all of a sudden a light bulb hit (?) - I mean, turned on.
DF: C, it's gonna cost me an arm and a leg to get my GreenCard. I can go with this Nurse Travel Agency where they deal with immigration but then they would be taking out the fees from my pay.
C: Well, you just have to budget well and do what's best for the situation.
DF: Yeah, I guess. Hey, you're a Resident aren't you? I mean, even if you are not a Citizen yet can you still get married ....
C looks at me really strangely and says:
C: Of Course!
DF: Wanna get married then?
C: Get married? I can't believe you actually brought it up! Really? Get married?
DF: Well, only for convenience sake .. ;oP
C: Convenience sake huh? Okay, then we can get divorced later and I'll file for alimony and get 60% of your earnings. (we joke about this because it is happening to a few people that we know)
DF: Alimony my ass. I'm getting a PRE-NUP. And when we get divorced you can get 60% of all my debt! LOL
C stays quiet. Subject dropped.
Then, as we neared the car, we had to walk down a few steps onto the curb and C suddenly says:
C: Come on wife, let's go home.
YIKES! What have I done?! I may have created a monster~husband~wannabe! YIKES!
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Latest entries: Bigger, Not Necessarily Better
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To date 22 Comment(s)
TrackBack-URL
(31.8.04 13:36)
Isn't Canada more picturesque - mind you Brian Adams. No wonder you've migrated West.
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bluesbeads
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(31.8.04 17:01)
This is a really cute exchange. I like C already, and this is only the first entry I've read about him. This is my first time on the "Living with C" page.
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(31.8.04 17:38)
Does that mean you popped the question in some way???? That´s great!! haha!
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(31.8.04 17:40)
DF- I too know what it's like to deal with the big ole "department of homeland security" *sigh* I am still.. awaiting word on the renewal of my green card... here is a sweetie for all your troubles!
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(31.8.04 20:43)
Hi d_f!
You know, I like that C character, he is lovely.
I feel like I am a prim and proper old lady here, dressed in a dark colored, lace-collared shirtwaist, stockings, and sensible shoes. It feels strange to feel like that, sitting quietly and thinking. And this is what I am thinking:
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Marriage is a big deal, something that changes nearly every aspect of your life, and it's being entered into as an "arrangement" doesn't alter that as much as I think you expect it would.
Marrying is a gift you give and get, a gift that looks pretty and romantic, kind of like a wedding gift, now that I think of it, but it's the kind of wedding gift that involves a lot of work to get a lot of good from it. For some reason, I'm thinking of a heavyduty kitchen appliance, not a place setting of sterling silver or some beautiful crystal. The package you are getting may be wrapped up beautifully, may look like something from a dream, but it's meant for real life.
And marriage is a gift you are best off thinking of as being one you give to one person, one person who will have it for life.
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I've been married a lot of years, lots of different kinds of days in those years. I started as someone who was too young to know what she was taking on, although I was committed to taking it on for life, and my husband was just as clueless as I was. I'm not sure if I would have chosen differently if I had been older and wiser, and I suspect young and stupid might be the easiest way to get married, as long as you are smart enough to recognize you have a lot to learn and patience to do the learning.
Even at that, most marriages, mine included, aren't a game, although good ones have lots of fun.
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And the legal issues of marriage might possibly make greencard problems seem easy, the emotions are different. But strong emotions are involved in both, I am sure.
And as far as homeland security, yes, I know things are bad, what we are bartering away for our false sense of security are the things we most love about our country; not all US citizens are happy with or support the climate here. I grieve for the way our sensibilities are being trampled on by politicians and am deeply ashamed of what our country is doing. Reading comments like yours about my country, frankly, upsets me. Love you d_f, and you are not the first one that I think very highly of to step on my toes; I am always surprised by my reaction, always surprised that I comment about it. I will say, I only do so when the posting person is someone I respect.
Man, I don't think either one of us saw this coming, did we?
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If you love C and he loves you, and you want to have a life together happily ever working on happy together, go for it. Best wishes to you.
BA
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(31.8.04 23:08)
and soon he'll be refering to you in the third party as 'the missus' 
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(31.8.04 23:12)
Ah .. B.A. this is exactly the kind of comment I appreciate! Truly! Not afraid to speak your truest heart, giving of the best advice you can know of from your experience and at the same time not being afraid to say when some words had offended you. This is what communication is all about. No defensiveness, no backlashing, just simple communication at its' most beautiful form. Thank you my dear for being YOU and being honest. Now I have the opportunity to apologize, for yes, I know that when I rant about the U.S. I know very well that the state or mind set of what is presented in the media is not the total concensus of the nation. I suppose I am a bit ignorant anyway of any real U.S. facts so I should really just not say things on a whim. (I know this of me). And I really should not mention Nation here because in reality it is about being human! I apologize for the words that had offended you at the time and perhaps had offended others as well. The strangest thing is, after I had written that entry, I re-read it and thought .. hmm, I wonder if I should write in a note saying that I was sorry ahead of time for saying some things about America ....
It was late so I decided to leave it alone, but still had this funny feeling in my stomach. LOl .. and here it is in black and white - my intuition fruitioned!
I am always blabbing about listening to intuition .. and look, I didn't! Well, I learned more here .. today from reading your comment and responding to it. Sigh ... if only governments and nations can communicate like we do! LOL. Love you even MORE now B.A.!
Oh, and I realize that this U.S. angst I have should really just end .. since there is obviously a more underlying issue in my life - other than what the U.S. economy or government can affect me. Sigh .. I just realized that if it were not for the States, I would not be afforded the luxury of earning a decent pay. I guess I need to examine my personal issues more and hold my tongue when words are not necessary. Kisses and hugs B.A.! Again, I am sorry. I take it back. It is not about nations, races, social status or level of education. We are ALL truly One and we must take care to always remember that, less we allow more non-essential things to bring us farther apart.
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(31.8.04 23:33)
authorwriting: Well, each country has its' own pitcuresque'ness. As I truly want to see Mount Carmel off the Califoria Coast and still need to visit the Grand Canyon and Sedona. Lol, and it was South that I had migrated too .. similiar to the sparrows of Capistrano.
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(31.8.04 23:37)
bluesbeads: Yes, C is quite a wonderful Spirit. He does not know that but his Soul is here to save mine! I am glad you found this category, for there is a lot of posigtive postings here.
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(31.8.04 23:59)
heh ... Amegrito is coming.. hope this will not disturb your potential husband ? :-)
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(1.9.04 00:02)
MJinBaires: This topic is not a surprise as we have been together for over 6 years now. Much longer than my previous marriage of only 2 years. We have gotten much attention lately from both sides of our families as to when we were going to get married. We realize that this may be a REAL issue later on that we will face, but for now we play at tht topic, not hurting the other, and simply enjoying the teaching and the learning that our relationship allows us. Believe me, I will not marry anyone for convenience sake. Been there done that. But if there is a wedding, well I will let you all know for sure!
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(1.9.04 00:03)
yulipixi: yes, I know . but we must all just learn to deal with the change for it is a country in much need of security these days .. and well, at least we are fortunate to be able to earn a livnig here.
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(1.9.04 00:04)
PJ!: ew .. I don't think I like that reference .. I will like to be called simply .. Buddy, for that is what we call the other. That is our Term of Endearment.
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(1.9.04 00:06)
Negrito: Nay .. will not be a disturbance. I allow no one thing or one person to get in the way of my spiritual growth or my stomach when I am hungry! Lol. No worry, C knows I have a strong personality and will not challenge it ;oP
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(1.9.04 08:39)
Yes, BA wrote some wise words there. I agree with her that a more casual reason for getting married doesn't actually change it when you're in it. It has its own momentum.
On the "USA thing", Americans are in a very difficult position at the moment - its hard for them to understand the view that non Americans have of G Bush. There's just something about that man . . .
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(1.9.04 12:58)
PS I haven't followed this conversation, but my 2 cents worth is: Nah, don't get married. I don't see how being married ads anything to the relationship. Unless it's for tax purposes... ;-) If you are devoted and honest and loving etc. then that should be enough. Marriage is an old institution from the days when women were dependent on men. And it has this romantic connotation that after a while totally disappears in every day life.
Spiritual partnership... that's what it's all about.
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(1.9.04 14:12)
Brightfield- please know that many US Americans (After all, there are many kinds of Americans: Canadian Americans, Mexican-Americans, many nationalities who are Americans in Central and South America as well, I don't like the idea of usurping two entire continents and thinking that 50 states and some territories own the whole landform), anyway, we probably feel more disgust with Bush than you guys possibly could, we have to watch this buffoon and how so many are so easily taken in by him; it horrifies and humiliates us.
It is interesting/horrible to think that the rest of the world thinks that US Americans all think the very same thing about this guy, I can't think of any issue that this very diverse, very ready to speak up country feels cohesion about.
And the momentum of marriage? It is powerful, isn't it? I think you and I have had some similar experiences, and we don't take this marriage thing lightly, we look at it as the imposing institution it is. Gee, that sounds kind of well, imposing. And accurate.
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d_f, dear,
What a gracious comment back to me. I fretted about posting that comment, I think you understand what I mean when I describe sincere heartfelt opinions expressed, hoping that the receiver will take them in the spirit of honest communication, but still with the fear that they will be taken personally, and cause offense.
I was driving Stella somewhere in the evening and hadn't checked back here and I told her I was feeling misgivings about having posted it, and she had read the comment and agreed with me that I had probably put my foot in it.
Then coming here and reading what you posted, ah d_f, it really is a pleasure having you to talk with, I like your open attitude so much. I do try to be like you in this, and I'll keep you in mind the next time I'm tempted to be un-mild in my response to someone.
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(3.9.04 05:28)
PeterJ: Yes, I like Buddy! We call eachother Buddy. Where everyone calls each other "babe", "love", "sweetie" etc .. C did not want to ues those names as endearments, so he thought of the name Buddy. it confuses people to hear us call eachother Buddy ... as it is an unusual name for a couple.
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(3.9.04 05:33)
brightfield: Perhaps I should consult with you and BalancingAct on the matters of marriage. Both of you, (and I am not leaving out Matilda_the_skivvy or theSTEVEDAQ in this) all seem to have found a happy medium with the momentum of this insitition!
Re: "The USA Thing" I am thinking that we are all at difficult positions, as what a country's leader or government proposes affects other nations .. in turn affecting the people. We will all need to stick together and learn to forgive and understand those that are also trying to make their way thru this lifetime ...
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(3.9.04 05:40)
BalancingAct: the more you mention the momentum of marriage, the more I am curious about it. I am wondering if you would not perhaps enlighten us and have a section on it in your blog . .. ?
And C just loved what you said about Americans! He never understood why the name Americans, seemed to only refer to the 50 states plus 2 territiories. When we first met it was C that had reminded me that Americans consisted of Canada and Mexico too, since all three countries made up North America! I never thought of it that way .. and I did not even realize that Mexico was a part of North America! *d_f hangs her head in shame* C quite thinks that you are a very intelligent lady! I tell him, "And how!"
BA do not thank me, it is I who should Thank you for calling me on an entry that I had not used full awareness when composing it.
It made me learn something and reminded me of a fault that I must work on .. no, THANK YOU!.
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